My Christmas Wish List

Black Eyeliner of good quality
like this liquid kind by Urban Decay

Bow Tie
like this one from Tangled Ties

Flat boots

like these but cheaper

Nice, sturdy flats

              I do not have a look in mind for these.

Possibly a camera bag

              My current "camera bag" is the bag my mom's mini HP photo printer came in. It is bulky and awkward and my reporting notepads do not really fit in it. 

Materials to make a quilt

              When packing up my things, I found old T-shirts from when I did t-ball and ballet and soccer and gymnastics, etc. I thought I would make a quilt from these to keep.

One post away from November's 30, 


A mediocre videoblog

Sorry for the long length...and the quality, but that's a videoblog for you. 


Reliving my childhood

Apparently, I started developing my personality from an early age.

I am three years old in this video. My dad was sitting at our kitchen table when he caught me being my weird self on camera. It was not unusual for my parents to have a camera on them at this time. They were always documenting my childhood. We have a lot of cassette footage to look back on. 

Anyway, my dad was just hanging out, when I came in wearing my pink sunglasses, holding Nala and what resembles a gun. The piece that looks like a pistol is actually a part that came from a fence that held in my Barbie horses. 

I did this on my accord. My parents did not put this idea into my brain. My dad actually said he was a little worried...and scared. 

When I rediscovered the old Barbie stable over Thanksgiving break while packing, I decided to reenact the moment. I think I was a much better performer when I was younger. I should have watched the video before attempting to recreate it. I didn't realize I had even walked backward.



Since my parents are going off to a little cabin in the woods,
I spent my Thanksgiving break going through my things
and packing them up.

In the process, I dug up a few memories that I thought I would share.

This is a birthday card the other half of The Lauren/Spencer Project and one of her sisters made for me when I turned 16.

  Photobucket Photobucket 

It is pretty precious.

A little blurry...but this is from when I used to do cheer leading, one of the many various extracurricular activities I tried out.

I am middle person in the back row.


This is a farewell note from one of my roommates at the National Youth Leadership Conference in D.C..

I swear I did not put this idea in her head, but she acted like I was a vampire the whole week. It wasn't that she didn't like me, but I guess I just resembled a vampire to her.

She said it was because I was pale and did not sleep very much. She said I moved quietly and swiftly and would always spook her when she didn't realize I was there. Also, I think at the time I really like to drink this dark pomegranate juice that she said looked like blood.

Anyway, it was a fun time.

 This was my other roommate. She wrote a really sweet note. It always surprises me to find out people actually like me.


This is an adorable picture I found of my dad.

I think I have a good looking pair of parents. And this picture was not even filtered with Instagram. Pictures just came out this way back then.


This picture really dates myself. Crimping? Really? Why was this a thing?

This is from a sleepover birthday party. The girl on the left was the birthday girl. Her mom was a makeup artist, and she gave all of the party guests "makeovers." It was the first time I ever wore mascara. I lost one of those Limited Too earrings at her house. I remember being really bummed about that. Also, Limited Too dates me as well.


My Incredible Talking Skeleton was one of my favorite toys as a kid, along with my talking globe. I was really into memorizing my bones and locating all of the countries.


I find this a little scary. I remember strongly disliking this as a child, but it still hung steadfastly on my door. My mom put it up and I don't know why I did not take it down until too late of a age.


This was another favorite toy of mine. It is a Barbie playhouse.

I also had Barbie horses and a stall to put them in, and a pond outfitted with animals.

I used to spend hours setting this all up and then taking it down. Is it weird that I never actually played with the dolls in the house?

I just liked putting everything in its place and then cleaning it back up.

  Photobucket Photobucket 

This picture did not really work out the way I had imagined. Bella was not being very cooperative.

I wanted her to just be another fluffy face amid the mass of stuffed animals, but she was not having it. I like documenting things and I had to take a picture of all of these animals together before I handed them over to Goodwill.


Based on the handwriting, it looks like I wrote this when I was eight, which is confusing because I figured out Santa wasn't real when I was seven because my mom writes her "Ts" a certain way, and a letter I received "From Santa" "To Caitlin" was written in the same way.

I think I just did this so my mom would know what I wanted, but it is still cute.

I used to love York peppermint patties (well, they are still pretty great) and I used one of the foil wrappers to wrap up my Christmas wish.


Scented hairspray? What does that even mean? Isn't it all scented...and not in a good way.


When my mom used to read Peter Rabbit was a baby, I would get super excited. I would start laughing smiling and thumping my own feet. This is a Thumper paper-bag puppet I made way back when


Also, this is my childish interpretation of my dad's painting that hangs above our fireplace. The oil-paint version is much more realistic.


This is the sketch of what my dad was later paint on one of the walls of my bedroom, which I stayed in up until I was six. He also painted a tree that took up the length and height of another wall.

I recommend going through your old things once and a while to see how far you have come.



Right now I am still high off of my recent visit home.

The day before Thanksgiving, I had dental surgery at 9:30 a.m., and was told to take it easy and eat soft foods. However, I still managed to eat everything at Thanksgiving dinner, including the turkey. I spent the rest of my break packing up all of my belongings and either dropping them at Goodwill or packing them into my Kia. 

My parents, if all goes according to plan, are moving to a little cabin in the woods in two weeks, and so we are all downsizing. But I am excited though.

In three weeks time, after final projects and exams and stuff, I plan to spend my days hiking and tromping though the woods, building campfires, painting and drawing and writing and reading, baking, playing some golf, picking back up my violin, learning to play the guitar, and blogging, of course.

I know you can do all of these things anywhere, but there is something inspiring about nature and silence. I love being able to get away from everyone and just go into the woods and look up at the trees. 

And the cold...I can't wait to breathe it in.

I think it is a going to be a wonderful winter.


Almost there!

There are only 17 days till winter breaks out!



In the spirit of Thanksgiving...

I am thankful for...

 Books that take me away
Holiday drinks that warm my heart
and the changing of seasons.

What about you?



Some festive nails

I tried this trend. These colors and the sparkles look wintery to me.

Some bow ties. These have been catching my eye lately.
Tangled Ties, an Etsy shop, has an assortment of options for women, men and children.

A string of holiday lights.



Some of my favorite t.v. shows and why

I already washed my hair, so I have no excuse for getting out of this post. (If you are confused right now, see SF's post below.)

I also watch a large amount of t.v. I have lived vicariously through characters in books and shows for a while, and I am kind of dependent on these forms of escape. 

I thought I would put some of my favorites into categories because that is the only way I can narrow this down.



I think I like The Office, followed by The Big Bang Theory, followed by Community, followed by Parks and Recreations, followed by Arrested Development. They are all kind of similar shows but I think some are more nostalgic than others depending on when I watched them. 

The Office is my favorite because I find something appealing about working a mundane but comfortable job everyday with same people, kind of how I like routine tasks like cleaning or putting away laundry. Also, I have a stronger attachment with the majority of the characters in this show.


Though not serious crime, Monk is such a lovable character that I can't help but love this show. He is just so darn cute. 

My next favorite crime show is also off beat, and it is Pushing Daisies.

Teenage fiction:

I feel like this is kind of like the Twilight of t.v. I mean it is not supernatural all, but it's main appeal is that is is so fascinating to watch people who live so differently than me. I just like to watch the relationships and drama play out because I never am personally involved in this kind of thing in real life. 

Also, this is a very nostalgic t.v. show. I am not ashamed to admit I really got into this series.


Again, if I do not like the characters, I cannot watch the show. However, in this show and others  I start to care about the characters and what happens to them. I especially love the maids and butlers in this series. 


This is one of those stupid, funny, but charming t.v. shows. The show is pretty ridiculous, but the characters are so endearing.


I have been really into this show recently. I do not watch it for the gore. I mostly just ignore that part, but it is an exciting escape to think about what it would be like if our society's structure was completely dissolved. Also, I find it interesting that characters continue to fight to survive even though they are technically doomed.


So funny. Really witty humor. I cannot believe this show lasted so briefly.

I really should a summary of the plots of these shows later. 

What I am listening to right now:

Legacy by SF


Two Autumn Photos Because I'm Having Technical Difficulties, and Also Difficulties Staying Awake (NaBloPoMo Day 20)

I'd say I spend most of my college life under a tree. It's where I do some of my best non-thinking.

I feel like I never used to see pinecones where I lived, but they're all over the place here. Maybe I should plant a pine tree one of these days. Is that what pinecones do? 

In other news, my dad came in town to visit me which is exciting. I'm showing him all of the things I do (which are mostly just coffee shops and trees). Tomorrow, I'm flying home for Thanksgiving. Things are happening. 

Let's see where the rest of this month takes The Lauren/Spencer Project.

Now, excuse me, but I have to go wash my hair, and that is not just an excuse to get out of talking to you (although you should try that one, it works every time).

Here's to better blog posts in the future,
Spencer R. Feder

What I'm listening to right now: Disappear by Jonathan Pina


The Hits

I used to be much more into music in high school. I liked to find new artists and dance around my room to music. Now, I usually just listen to whatever is playing on the communal bathroom radio. 

But here are a few songs from the album I embarrassingly labeled "The Hits" on my iTunes.

  1. Rise Up by Ben Lee
  2. Strange Times by The Black Keys
  3. Evacuate by The Boxer Rebellion
  4. I'm Not Over by Carolina Liar
  5. That Home by The Cinematic Orchestra- Ma Fleur
  6. Oscar Wilde by Company of Thieves
  7. You and Me by Dave Matthews Band
  8. Ashes On Your Eyes by Deb Talan
  9. Rise Up by Diane Birch
  10. Skinny Genes by Eliza Doolittle
  11. We're All In the Dance by Feist
  12. When I Grow Up by Fever Ray
  13. Smiley Faces by Gnarls Barkley
  14. At or With Me by Jack Johnson
  15. Pumpkin Soup by Kate Nash
  16. She Moves In Her Own Way by The Kooks
  17. The Fear by Lily Allen
  18. Fuck You by Lily Allen
  19. The Show by Lenka
  20. The Sound of Sunshine by Michael Franti & Spearhead
  21. Don't Give Up by the Noisettes
  22. Glitter in the Air by P!nk
  23. Be Be Your Love by Rachael Yamagata
  24. Buildings & Mountains by The Republic Tigers
  25. Colorful by Rocco Deluca & The Burden
  26. L.E.S. Artistes by Santigold
  27. Loving You Is Easy by Sarah McLachlan
  28. Breakeven by The Script
  29. You're a Wolf by Sea Wolf
  30. Turn On Me by The Shins
  31. You, Me and the Bourgeoisie by The Submarines
  32. Madly by Tristan Prettyman
  33. Sunday Bloody Sunday by U2
  34. New Soul by Yael Naim (Remember her?)
  35. Send Me on My Way by Rusted Root
  36. Streetcorner Symphony by Rob Thomas
  37. Secrets by OneRepublic
  38. Use Somebody by Kings of Leon
  39. Fitz and the Dizzyspells by Andrew Bird
  40. Laughing With by Regina Spektor
  41. Consequence Of Sounds by Regina Spektor
  42. Fluorescent Adolescent by Arctic Monkeys
  43. Balaclava by Arctic Monkeys
  44. No Rain by Blind Melon
  45. Where I Stood by Missy Higgins
  46. Running Up That Hill by Placebo
  47. Dr. Dog Heart It Races
  48. Oxford Comma by Vampire Weekend
  49. 5 Years Time by Noah and The Whale
  50. Songs of Shame by Woods
  51. Bitter Sweet Symphony by The Verve
  52. Ally My Loving by Jim Sturgess
  53. Girlfriend by Phoenix
  54. Sweet Disposition by The Temper Trap
  55. Golheani by Jose Mucavele
  56. Loud Pipes by Ratatat
  57. Mine is Yous by Cold War Kids
  58. Song for No one by Miike Snow
  59. Monsters by Matchbook Romance
  60. Welcome to the Black Parade by My Chemical Romance

Wow. I just completely rediscovered my iTunes. I have a lot of songs....and some of them are really weird...but I like them. I think I may start listening to music again. 

Happy listening, 

A Bunch of Songs for the Rest of November (NaBloPoMo 19)

  1. Absolute by The Fray
  2. All or Nothing by Rooney
  3. Anna Sun by Walk the Moon
  4. Brick by Brick by Katy Perry
  5. Can't Help Falling in Love by Ingrid Michaelson
  6. A Case of You by Joni Mitchell
  7. Colourblind by The Art of Sleeping
  8. Down in the Valley by The Head and the Heart
  9. Everything by Joshua Radin
  10. Faster by Matt Nathanson
  11. Flowers in Your Hair by The Lumineers
  12. Friday I'm in Love by The Cure
  13. Helplessness Blues by Fleet Foxes
  14. Holland Road by Mumford & Sons
  15. Holocene by Bon Iver
  16. I Don't Mind by Defeater
  17. Idaho by Gregory Alan Isakov
  18. It Goes On and On by The Avett Brothers
  19. Keep Your Head Up by Ben Howard
  20. Leave Before the Lights Come On by Arctic Monkeys
  21. Long Gone and Moved On by The Script
  22. Moonlight Sonata (mvt. 1) by Ludwig van Beethoven
  23. Neopolitan Dreams (Dubstep Remix) by Lisa Mitchell
  24. No One Knows by Queens of the Stone Age
  25. Nothing Left to Lose by The Pretty Reckless
  26. One Night by Ed Sheeran
  27. Shot for Me by Drake
  28. Stay Over by The Rescues
  29. Stay Stay Stay by Taylor Swift
  30. Stop and Stare by OneRepublic
  31. Straight Away by Mat Kearney
  32. Ten Cent Pistol by The Black Keys
  33. Throw Me a Rope by KT Tunstall
  34. Tight Rope by Alex Clare
  35. To Be With You by The Honey Trees
  36. Under Cover of Darkness by The Strokes
  37. Under the Sheets by Ellie Goulding
  38. We Get On by Kate Nash
  39. You Already Know by Train
  40. You Lie by The Band Perry
  41. 9 Crimes by Damien Rice
You should listen to some. For real. I don't know, I guess sometimes people feel really strongly about music and think certain genres are stupid, etc. But, I'm willing to give it all a chance, and maybe you should consider doing the same?

Love love,
Spencer "Spencer" Feder (but everyone just called her Spencer)

What I'm writing right now: an English paper comparing the Legends of the Fall novella and movie; also, a Thanksgiving menu


Some things I want to do and some things I've done

I really just want to do everything before I die, and I don't think that is a feeling that is specific to me. 

I have done a few things, but it is a scary small fraction of what I actually want to do. 

See, even though I am introverted, I still like to see the world and do things. I just always weigh the energy that I will have to invest by going out into social situations against the value I will get from the experience.

For instance, after a long, hard week, I do not want to have dinner with the gang or go to a party or go clubbing or drinking. One of my ideal scenarios to relieve stress is to buy good-quality chocolate, pour myself a tall glass of iced coffee and watch back to back episodes of the latest t.v. show I am "obsessing" over. And if I am at home, to watch them with my cat.

Some may say, (actually a girl told me just two weeks ago), that doing what I would rather do is wasting my life away. But to me, going out is not worth the exhausting process that it is unless I get a unique memory from it.

Some include:

Going to what is called a Beast Feast, eating assorted game meats, meal worm cookies and cricket brownies. The cookies were not bad as long as the worms were crunchy and blended into the cookie. I would not recommend the brownies, especially because the crickets were not entirely crunchy and antennae were sticking out everywhere.

Going to a meat plant. This is the least graphic picture I have. The process started with a live pig. What is funny about this experience is I thought the facility just cut meat from a cold cadaver. When I entered the facility and heard squealing, I started shaking and told myself it was just squeaky machinery that needed some WD40. Nope, it was the sound of animals being "tazed" and slaughtered. Yippee! Definitely memorable.

Eating Ethiopian food for the first time. So good... If you haven't had it, it is served on this spongy flat bread called injera. You are also given a roll of injera that you tear pieces off of to grab at the food. The custom for eating the food is to feed someone else as a sign of respect. I do not know how I feel about that one.

Doing the traditional Ethiopian dance with the cook.  She liked us so much she gave us free dessert. I believe it was fried dough with powdered sugar and drizzled honey.

Photographing a fashion show. The stuff that happens behind and on stage is hilarious.

Going to a Pride Parade

Talking to this guy, who is famous for his Burn a Quran Day. 

Going to Primitive Earth Skills Gathering. 

I know you don't want to, but look closely at this one. Nice timing right?

Working on an organic farm with very unique individuals with super illegal stories.

Photo credit to Jessica's.

Going spelunking.

Ignore my facial expression here. I had a good time. There were bats, and beautiful clear pools of water and slippery mud mountains and colorful fungi and crevices much tighter than this and stalagmites.

I'm the "C."

I stood in the little look out and pointed out the rays. And annoyingly, there was no ladder, so I jumped down to that net and let it out, helped catch the ray and then pulled the net back in. 

In the above picture, researchers are measuring the spotted eagle ray to see if it is healthy.

Photo Credit to Mote.

Playing with dogs with inmates. This was also so much fun.

Hiking part of the Appalachian Trail with my dad. You gotta love him for it. Such a bonding experience. 

Those are just a few. And I would like to add that most of these activities were free or cost very little.

A lot of things I would like to do:

  1. I have had the opportunity to do a little bit of traveling, and I greatly appreciated it, but it is a fraction of what I want to do. 
  2. I also briefly did scuba diving. I would like to take a refresher course and then immediately go on a trip to put my skills into practice. 
  3. There is not much opportunity to surf in the area of Florida I am from, unless a hurricane is on its way, so I would like to go somewhere where I can really learn.
  4. On a whim, I went salsa dancing a few times and surprisingly enjoyed it. I meant to go to fencing and archery and boxing, but scheduling and transportation never worked out. I mean to try these out before I graduate, as well as take the women's self-defense course
  5. Do a live drawing, work on a potter's wheel, make a sculpture, make a pinata, make a painting I can hang and be proud of and put up a piece of street art. 
  6. Write and publish a novel, some type of non-fiction and a book of poetry.
  7. Publish an article in a major news outlet whether a follow through with journalism or not.
  8. Eat as many foreign foods as possible, whether they look detestable or delicious, just because.
  9. Run in the under wear dash, a mud run and maybe a color run. 
  10. Go to a football game...
  11. Seriously figure out my major/what I am doing with my life.
  12. Go to the Netherlands to practice my Dutch and Spain  to practice my Spanish. And no, I am not ignorant and know there are other places that speak these languages...just in case you were thinking that.
  13. Snow skii. I haven't done this yet? really? I have always lived in the south and have only ever water skied...bummer
  14. Skydive really? I haven't done this either? I know, I have been meaning to for a while. My parents did not really want me to, but now I am 19 so I should. I will! Maybe this summer? I went parasailing with my dad which was neat. My dad freaked out which was funny. 
  15. Also, another one which is ridiculous that I haven't done is go to a concert. I don't know why I haven't. Hmm...I guess I need someone to go with. I need to get on this. I don't want to go to my first one when I am old.
  16. Get a gun license and improve my aim
  17. Finally go back to Tae Kwon Do and finally get that black belt
  18. Find my throwing knives and work on that 
  19. Go somewhere awe-inspiring for New Year's Eve
  20. Volunteer at a nursing home
  21. See a broadway musical (when I went the writers were on strike)
  22. Spear a lionfish (As an aside, scallops are so cute, but sad to catch. However, I have no sympathy for lionfish)
  23. Go in a hot air balloon
  24. Go on a long train ride
  25. Hike the tallest mountain on one of the continents
  26. Go noodling
  27. Learn how to sail
  28. Learn how to play the guitar
  29. Zip line through a rain forest
  30. Go hardcore bird watching
  31. Bike through the Alps
  32. Learn how to ride a motorcycle
  33. Backpack
  34. Stay in a supposedly haunted house
  35. Visit a fancy schmancy winery 
  36. Go to a spa 
  37. Go truffle hunting
  38. Make a wearable outfit from scratch
  39. See all of the major historical sites
  40. Learn as many languages as possible ... 
  41. Die my hair light pink or blue
  42. Ride a small plane that does spins and such. (Dad...take me?)
  43. Learn how to play the violin like fiddle and perform on a street corner
  44. Knit something other than a scarf...
  45. Go to one of those world food challenges
  46. Swim with big sharks (not Nurse or Reef sharks)
  47. Take a plane trip to first available destination
  48. Jump in a fountain like in a movie
  49. Get my own kitten
  50. Be one of those people who helps makes the floats for the Rose Bowl Parade
  51. Fill up a room with books I have read
  52. Be independent and not be homeless
  53. Do some kind of craft apprenticeship 
  54. Go on a safari
  55. Paint a mural 
  56. Build a house with Habitat for Humanity 

Gosh, I keep thinking, and I really just don't have enough time for everything.

Hmmm...I have always been indecisive. Well, many of these things I can do before I graduate.

This post has inspired me to live more aggressively. 

Will do,